i like the way i like him. how i like his laugh, his looks, his way of saying things, his goofy stupid style. i like the way i feel when i talk to him and i how it always feel right. i like the way he is smart, i like the way he is funny, i like the way he is cute, i like the way he is carefull, i like the way he is all those things i’ve always wanted in a guy.
i like the way we had a great time together. i like the way, fun, for us, has the same meaning: just hang out with your friends and laugh. i like the way he cares about his family, like i do. the way he talks about his little sister... she will be always his little girl, i’m sure he will protect her, feel jealous when she gets a boyfriend, and i like the way i will laugh of him and support him when that time comes.
i like the way i day dream about how things could be if we both lived in the same place. i like dreaming about how things would just work out between us and how he would really love me too. i dream about how i would probably live in a one bedroom apartment and he would live in his dorm. i dream about how we would studied hard because we want to be sucessefull in our lives. i dream about how on fridays we would probably go out with friends, have a beer, get high in his case, get drunk in my case and talk about stupid things. i dream about how, after everyone was gone, we would probably go to my place, and make out. and i know it would be fun and nice and lovely. i dream about how we would wake up hangover, get some breakfast and stay in bed being lazy and talking about things... then he would go home and i would be a little while more in bed, remebering all the idiot things we did last night. i dream about going to the bar and play snooker and when it was his times do play, i would whisper in his ear a sex blackmail for him to let me win. i dream about how i would take him to one of the golf places, in total darkness... put some music on, lay ins the grawss, hear the animal sounds not so far way and just look at the stars and talk. i dream about how i would provoke him and how it would be so fun, and then, unexpectedly, we would make out sex the golf camp. i dream about how we would have so many adventures like that and how we would tell these stories to ourselves and laugh, and maybe, one day, tell those stories to our grandsons.
i dream about how we would go watch scary movies and he would laugh of me for being overly scared, but still, protect me. i dream about introducing him to my family and how everybody would like him. i dream about he and my brother making fun opf me for nathing, just because they are so goofly alike. i dream about walk around campus forgetting that there is people around, cause we would be so into our conversation that we wouldnt even notice them... we would be a cute couple. i even dream about how i would get super jealous of his girl friends and pretend that i wasnt, but he would know and maybe he would thought that was cute. i dream about how we wopuld support eachother on hard times, how i would give him a cup of something he likes on his finals, because that was all i could do to help, since im the most stupid person when it comes about math. i dream about kissing him, feeling him. all the time. the way i feel in my mind.
i hate the way that’s not enough. i hate the way that maybe it could be real to me if i was living next to him. maybe. i hate the way i think he doesnt like me like that. and i hate the way that i think that i can’t continue to be in a friend or anything else relationship feeling that way. i hate the way my life is here. i hate the way im sure he doesnt wanna be part of it, and i hate the way i can undersatnd. i hate the wau is so to hard stop imagining all those things when i talk to him everyday, when i see his smile, when i see him being exactly what i’ve always dreamed about.
i hate the way i have to be selfish right now and stop being his friends, even though i love to be his friend. i hate the way i love him and there’s nothing i can do about it.
